"Greg and Jim"

The Work of Gregory Clark and Jimmie Frise

Discrimination

“What do you serve your blood donors in the Presbyterian Hospital after the ordeal?” asked Cousin Madge. “Scotch whiskey?”

By Gregory Clark, Illustrated by Duncan Macpherson, May 27, 1950.

“Quick!” came the hoarse voice of my Cousin Madge over the telephone. “Come in your car!”

“But…uh…” I explained.

“Quick! I have no time to argue!” chopped Cousin Madge. “Drive me to the hospital!”

She hung up. I hung up, and leaped for my hat and the car keys on the mantel.

Every family has its Cousin Madge – one of those grand old girls; spinsters, yes; a little violent and opinionated, maybe; but commanding. And the family, while it may not exactly revolve around her, certainly can be set in large circular motions by her.

I ran for the car. What could be wrong with poor Cousin Madge? A heart attack, possibly? Or a violent onset of gallstones? Cousin Madge is large and meaty. It is only three blocks to Cousin Madge’s from my place. And I got there in record time. I backed into her side drive so as to be able to speed away, the minute I had the dear old girl in the car.

She came bursting out the front door.

“Easy!” I begged, scrambling out to assist her.

“Get back in!” she barked, as she bounded down the steps.

“What is it, what is it?” I quavered, taking her arm.

“It isn’t me,” she cried, backing powerfully through the car door into her seat. “It’s a blood transfusion.”

“Blood ..?” I checked, hurrying around to my door of the car.

“I just heard it on the radio,” puffed Cousin Madge, as I started out the drive. “A poor man is dying down at the Presbyterian Hospital for the want of some Jantze Four1.”

“Some what?” I pleaded.

“Some Number One!” yelled Madge, patting her hat down into position for a fast ride. “Some Group A. Step on it!”

I stepped on it. The Presbyterian Hospital is a good six miles across town.

“I don’t get it.” I ventured.

“I’ve got it,” declared Cousin Madge, grimly but proudly. “My blood is one of those rare types that only maybe four per cent of the human race has got. Jantze Four, some doctors call it. Others call it Number One type, or type A. And this guy is dying; so they put out an emergency call on the radio…”

“My dear Madge,” I protested, slowing the car a little. “You can’t give blood transfusions at your age.”

“Listen!” hissed Cousin Madge, reaching over with her left foot and stepping on my right foot on the gas. “I gave blood 22 times during the war.”

“You were five, eight years younger.”

“Get cracking!” grated Cousin Madge, giving her hat another jerk and leaning forward. “This is my business. If there one thing I’ve got lots of, it’s blood. And if am the fortunate possessor of one of the rare types of blood, who am I to decline it to a poor man who is a fellow Jantze Four?”

“I think you’re crazy,” I muttered, as we hurtled through the busy streets.

Cousin Madge sat in haughty but slightly forward-crouching silence for a couple of blocks.

“It might occur to you,” she said, finally, “that it has not been my privilege to give life to any children. But if I can give life to some poor devil…”

“Pardon me, Madge,” I offered humbly.

So we dodged and darted through the city streets while Cousin Madge did a little quiet sniffling.

“I hope,” she gulped, “I hope we’re not too late, that’s all! And I was just sitting here wondering if the Presbyterian Hospital would take my blood. I’m an Anglican, you know.”

“Madge!” I scoffed. “Blood is non-denominational! Blood, you might say, is international. What a silly thought!”

“Oh, you never know!” asserted Cousin Madge. “I’ve never been in the Presbyterian Hospital. Maybe they have some rules. I’m not too sure I would want any Presbyterian blood…”

“If a man is dying…” I pointed out.

“We all have our principles,” declared Cousin Madge firmly. “If they start asking me my religion, I’ll say I’m Presbyterian.”

“Good for you!” I agreed.

And with a final swoosh, we rounded the wide bend in the approach to the Presbyterian Hospital and skidded through the gates onto the gravel.

Cousin Madge bounded out, leaving me to park the car. She headed powerfully for the entrance doors. By the time I reached the lobby, there was no sign of her.

“Did a lady…?” I queried the nurse at the desk.

“Blood transfusion?” the girl clicked. “Down that corridor. Turn left, and the fourth door…”

The door was open when I reached the blood transfusion clinic. And there was Cousin Madge, her hat and coat off, rolling her right sleeve up, and directing a young male technician in white, as well as a nurse, how to proceed with their business.

“This arm,” barked Cousin Madge, “has the fewest scars on it.”

“Let’s see the other,” suggested the technician meekly, after a glance at Cousin Madge’s forearm.

“This one, you hear?” bellowed Cousin Madge. “Look here, young man, I was giving gallons of blood while you were still in short pants.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said the technician. “Please come inside to the cot.”

“How much do you want?” enquired Cousin Madge, generously. “Fifty cc’s?”

“That will be wonderful,” said the nurse.

I followed cautiously to the door of the inner office.

“Is this your husband?” asked the technician.

“My cousin,” corrected Cousin Madge. “But let him in, I want him to see this…”

Cousin Madge sat on the cot and rolled herself back.

It was obviously an emergency, the way the technician and nurse worked. They swabbed Cousin Madge’s forearm with alcohol. The technician examined the inside of the forearm closely for an instant. Then he whipped a black bandage, such as they choke your arm with for blood pressure count, and wrapped it around Madge’s upper arm.

“Open and close your hand,” commanded the technician.

Cousin Madge opened and closed her fist. This was to pump the blood into her forearm to cause the veins to stick out, so the technician could select a good spot for the needle.

Before my horrified gaze the young white-clad man calmly picked up a slant-pointed needle, attached to a rubber tube, and plunged it into Cousin Madge’s lusty vein.

She did not even wince.

The technician hastily undid the bandage. On a low table, I noticed a glass jar about the size of a pint pickle bottle. And suddenly, into it from the rubber tube, squirted the bright red fluid of Cousin Madge’s life.

After a momentary stare, I began to feel slightly dizzy.

I averted my gaze and stared at the white wall.

I took a very deep breath.

“Hey!” charged Cousin Madge. “Get him out of here!

The young nurse took my sleeve and led me into the outer room.

“Lie down on that couch a minute,” she smiled.

“My blood…” I woozied, “my blood isn’t the right type…”

“Oh, we’re not taking yours,” she assured me. “Bit on the side of the couch and bend over, with your head as low as you can put it…”

So while I sat with my head resolutely bowed to my knees, the nurse returned to the inner room and Cousin Madge.

After a few minutes, I felt a little easier and sat up. An elderly doctor appeared at the door.

“How’s it coming?” he asked tersely.

“Squirting like a fire hose,” replied the technician. “I’ll have fifty cc’s in another five minutes…”

“Give me,” commanded the older doctor, “40 cc’s when you get it.”

“Right, sir!”

The older doctor vanished silently.

And suddenly in the humming hospital the druggy-scented hospital, full of quiet, swift footed people in white and slow-moving patients humbly carrying their hats and wandering the corridors or slouching on the benches and chairs, I got a sense of the drama that is staged here, day and night, minute by minute. Out the door from the inner room sprang the young nurse, holding the blood-red bottle as if it were indeed a chalice.

The young technician appeared and smiled at me. “You can come in now,” he said.

Cousin Madge was reclining on the cot, as large as life. Her arm lay with a white pad of cotton covering the needle puncture.

They only took 40 cc’s,” she scoffed. “I could give a bucket.”

“We needed the 40,” explained the young fellow, “right away. It was a case of speed.”

“Wasn’t I fast enough, letting it down?” scorned Cousin Madge.

“You were wonderful,” assured the young man. “In five minutes it will be tested, in the lab; and then it will be going into the patient.”

“Tested?” bit Madge.

“We have to confirm,” said the young fellow, “the type, and make sure there is no infection… uh…”

“You’ll find that,” cut in Cousin Madge, “good, pure, 100 per cent blood. It will be a tonic to him.”

“I’m sure it will,” said the young technician, earnestly.

Cousin Madge studied him up and down.”

“Are you a Presbyterian?” she asked.

“No, ma’am, I’m a Baptist,” said the young chap.

“Isn’t this the Presbyterian Hospital?” enquired Madge.

“Oh, yes, that’s just its name,” explained the technician.

“Personally, I’m an Anglican,” announced Cousin Madge, mildly.

“Indeed,” said the technician, removing the dab of cotton from Cousin Madge’s arm and inspecting the little blue mark.

He then took a fresh bit of cotton and secured it to her arm with a small piece of adhesive.

He glanced at his watch.

“You should rest 15 minutes…” he began.

Cousin Madge swung her legs off the cot.

“Listen, young man,” she said, “I’ve been through this too often to be coddled around like a beginner. What do you serve your blood donors in the Presbyterian Hospital after the ordeal? Scotch whiskey?”

“Tea, madam,” said the boy, “or coffee.”

“During the war,” related Cousin Madge, as she rolled her sleeve down, “I had snorts of brandy, glasses of sherry…”

The young nurse came sweeping back into the room, extending an envelope towards Cousin Madge.

“What’s this?” she said.

“Twenty-five dollars!2” cried the pretty nurse.

“Pardon ME!” snorted Cousin Madge, drawing up. “I am not a professional donor. This was voluntary.”

“Mr. Ginsberg insisted,” assured the nurse, “that I MUST give this to whoever offered their blood.”

Cousin Madge reached for the envelope.

“Mr. WHO did you say?” she checked.

“Mr. Ginsberg,” said the nurse, “who’s going to be rallying in half an hour.”

“I’ve got an idea!” exulted Cousin Madge.

She thanked the young technician, she kissed the young nurse, she waved me ahead of her out the door to act as her equerry. And we sailed down the hall and out the big doors and over to my car.

“Drive north!” rang Cousin Madge imperiously. “Drive north to the boulevard and turn west.”

“It’s a long way round…” I offered.

“North!” commanded Cousin Madge.

So we drove north to the boulevard and then west. And when we came abreast of St. Joseph’s Hospital Cousin Madge directed me to turn in the drive.

Out we piled and entered the wide doors of the older and even quieter hospital than the Presbyterian.

At the switchboard sat a black-clad sister.

“You have a drive for funds on now, sister?” enquired Cousin Madge.

“It ends today,” said the sister.

“Did you go over the top?”

“Not,” smiled the sister, “quite.”

“See if this will do it, maybe,” said Cousin Madge, handing in the envelope with the $25 in it.

If didn’t, it should have.

“Blood, by gum,” resounded Cousin Madge, as we re-piled ourselves into my car, “is just plain human!”


Editor’s’ Notes:

  1. The first doctor to recognize the different types of blood was Jan Janský in 1907. He classified blood into four distinct groups (I, II, III, and IV). Type 4 is the modern Type AB. ↩︎
  2. $25 in 1950 would be $340 in 2026. ↩︎

“Somebody’s Goin’ t’Pay fer This!”

May 26, 1928

Working Party

So we carried one log, and, as we came up the bank, we could see Vic reclining in the sun and Skipper and Bumpy with a deck of cards out.

By Gregory Clark, Illustrated by James Frise, May 20, 1939.

“Trouble never ends,” sighed Jimmie Frise.

“What’s gone wrong now?” I sympathized.

“You know that swell wharf I built at the cottage last summer?” said Jim. “One of the neighbors was up at the Point last week-end and he tells me the whole thing is wrecked.”

“How?” I demanded indignantly, for hadn’t I helped Jimmie talk about that wharf all the winter before last?

“The ice,” said Jim. “The break-up of the ice in the spring. It just wrecked the whole thing. Bust the cribs and scattered the stones all over. Twisted the planks. A lot of them washed away and were lost.”

“Ice is powerful,” I agreed.

“My neighbor figures,” said Jim, “it will cost about $501 to have the thing repaired. There’s never any end, is there? Just when you think you’ve got level with the game, something turns up.”

“How much did the wharf cost in the first place?” I asked.

“Fifty dollars,” said Jim. “But up in Muskoka, it’s all the same. Building a new wharf or repairing a busted one, it’s $50.”

“Don’t be silly,” I protested. “You can get some of the local men to repair it for $10.”

“No,” said Jim; “up in the summer cottage belt it’s different. They don’t figure it by the hour or the material. They have a price for a job. A wharf costs $50. It doesn’t matter what kind of a wharf it is. Any wharf is $50. Sometimes you get the best of the deal, sometimes the local man gets the best of it. But on the average it works out about fifty-fifty.”

“Why don’t you get the man that built this one and tell him the job wasn’t strong enough?” I demanded.

“Docks are always built,” explained Jim, “with the understanding that natural forces don’t count. No, I know my Muskoka. There is nothing for it. I’ll be stuck 50 bucks.”

“How badly ruined it?” I inquired.

“One of the end cribs,” said Jim, “is entirely wiped out, the logs all gone and the stones strewn all over the place. The planking is ripped off, some of it is under water and some of it sticks up in the air. It’s a mess.”

“Why not wait until you go up in July, before you spend any dough on it?” I suggested. “Fifty dollars next July doesn’t look half as bad as $50 right now.”

“A couple of good windy days,” said Jim, “and my neighbor says the whole thing will be strewn along the shore for miles. I’m going to write up to the boys tonight and tell them to go ahead and mend it. A summer cottage without a good wharf is like a house without a garage.”

“I was just thinking, Jim,” I submitted. “What is there to repairing a dock? Building a dock, I agree, is something requiring knowledge and experience. But mending wharf should be largely a matter of lifting and heaving.”

“I can see you lifting 40-pound rocks to put in the crib,” smiled Jim gratefully.

“I wasn’t thinking of me,” I smiled back very wily. “I was thinking of Skipper and Vic and Bumpy. Big, strong, athletic birds. Always wasting their strength on golf and squash racquets and climbing hills on fishing trips.”

“Aaaaah,” said Jim, lifting his eyebrows.

“I’ll Co-ordinate the Work”

“How would this work?” I submitted eagerly. “Invite the whole gang of us up for a fishing week-end. The trout will be just at their best next week. There’s some real good fishing at Port Sydney and other places less than 10 miles from your cottage. A fishing week-end. And no expense except the grub, which we will take with us, and do our own cooking. It will appeal to them. A lovely cheap week-end after trout at Jimmie’s cottage.”

“Then what?” asked Jim cautiously.

“When we arrive,” I dramatized, “there will be your wharf, all bust. You’ll see it first and be heart-broken. Everybody will sympathize with you. All our high spirits and excitement at arriving at the cottage will be dampened by the sight of you standing staring at your wrecked wharf, see? You can’t get it out of your head. You’ll walk down and stand dejectedly looking at it while we are busy carrying the luggage up to the house. I’ll call the attention of the boys to you. You’ll come up and stand around with a woe-begone air.”

“Then?” urged Jim.

“Why,” I cried, “I’ll assure you it is nothing. That the gang of us can put it right in an hour’s work.”

“It will take more than an hour,” said Jim. “It might take a whole afternoon. We would have to drive logs down and make a new crib, fill the crib with rocks and spike down all the planks. It will be a messy job.”

“Once we’re at it,” I assured, “we won’t quit. Men like seeing things done.”

“Not Bumpy and Vic,” said Jim.

“Old Skipper will be the slave driver,” I declared.

“And what will you be?” asked Jim.

“I’ll be the foreman,” I submitted. “I’ll co-ordinate the work. Naturally, nobody expects a man of my size to lift big rocks, and nobody would want to be on the other end of carrying a log with me. I’m too short for that kind of work. It is my size that drove me into brain work.”

“I haven’t much hope of the bunch of you giving me much help,” said Jim. “It seems to me I would be letting myself in for a lot of hard work while you all went fishing.”

“Don’t you want to save $50?” I demanded. “And if you can save $50 by merely using the help of a few hearty and athletic fishing partners who are guests at your summer cottage-“

“I suppose there’s no harm,” mused Jim. “After all, if they don’t want to help-“

“Jim,” I stated firmly, “you underestimate the nature of your friends. There is good in the worst of men. Just you start to work on that wharf and see how quick those birds will I come to your aid.”

“It seems a dirty trick,” said Jim, “to invite them up for a fishing week-end and then run them into a lot of work.”

“My dear man,” I cried, “what’s the difference between a fishing trip and a dock building trip? All a city man wants is a week-end in the open. A little exercise and fresh air. And in every man there is a love of constructing things. I know men who are addicted to wharf building. It’s fascinating.”

“Okay,” said Jim, “we’ll try it.”

So we got on the telephone and called the gang up, it being only Monday; and framed up a week-end party. It was to be on the cheap. No expense. Jim would buy the provisions and we could divide it five ways, and that’s all the expense we’d have, outside the gas.

“They’re all tickled to death,” I pointed out to Jim. “A cottage week-end isn’t to be sneezed at in times like these. Nobody has any money to throw away on expensive fishing trips.”

“Or on busted docks,” said Jim reflectively.

“That’s it in a nutshell,” I exclaimed. “In times like these people have a lot more heart than in piping times. You’ll see. The boys will be tickled to death to put their backs into the job.”

And Friday afternoon we all begged off work and met at Jim’s and shifted all the luggage into two cars and so set off, in the high spirits of May, for Muskoka, which we reached in three hours, right at Jim’s cottage.

Our entry was dramatic. My car being in the lead, I saw to that. The gate leading up from the shore road to the cottage is always a little rusty at the first of the season and I took a good minute to struggle with it, allowing the second car, with Jim in it, to catch up and stop behind us. Skipper had bailed out of my car and Bumpy and Vic piled out of the other, to stretch their legs.

“Good heavens,” shouted Vic. “Look at the wharf.”

And we all looked at the wharf. A long and heavy silence held us. In the silence Jim, very dramatically, took two or three hesitating paces forward and stood with his back to us, silently regarding the ruin. His back was eloquent. A good actor can do more with his back than with his face. Jim’s shoulders sagged.

“Aw, Jim,” I said, deeply, “what a mess.”

“The ice must have done it,” said Skipper, the practical one.

“Boyoboyoboy,” said Vic and Bumpy, sympathetically.

“That dock, boys,” I submitted, “was brand new last season.”

“I remember hearing you birds planning it all through the winter before last,” said Skipper. “Why didn’t you plan it right?”

“Could you have planned it better?” I demanded.

“Dock building is my specialty,” said Skipper. “You ought to see the wharf at my place on the Kawarthas.”

Jim had walked slowly and tragically down to stand and look closely at the wreckage.

“Then, Skipper,” I said, “you’re just the man Jim needs. Go on down and look the situation over while I get the stuff out of the cars and the cottage opened up.”

I drove in the lane and Vic followed in his car and Bumpy came with us and we shifted the bags on to the veranda and opened up the cottage and got the windows open and had a quick look around to feel the mattresses and see which beds we’d choose. There is an art to arriving at a summer cottage week-end party.

By the time Jim and Skipper came up rom the shore we had a fire on and the lamps lighted against the evening that was falling. Jim had a long face and Skipper was detailing firmly just how you should slope a crib to stand against the strain and stress of the spring breakup of the ice.

“Cheer up, Jim,” I shouted. Let’s forget the wharf for tonight. Let’s have a good supper and pleasant evening, and we can see about the wharf tomorrow.”

“I bet it will cost 75 bucks,” groaned Jim.

“Pshaw, no,” scoffed Skipper. “I bet it won’t cost more than 50.”

“How bad is it, Skipper?” I inquired, handling the frying pan full of eggs and bacon very skilfully. “Do you suppose we five might be able to make any sort of a repair job of it? After all, 50 bucks-“

The Excuses Begin

“If I had four good men,” said Skipper, “four good men, I said, who would obey my orders, I could have that wharf shipshape in one morning’s smart work.”

“Skipper,” I cried, “you have four good men!”

“There is nothing I would rather do,” announced Bumpy. “In fact, I love heaving things around. But only the middle of the week, my doctor went over me very carefully and told me to give up squash rackets for a while and to do no strenuous work of any kind for a period of two weeks, when he is going to give me another going over.”

“There’s a funny thing,” exclaimed Vic. “I’m taking out some new insurance, and they found something a little wonky with my blood pressure. Just two, days ago, that was. I have to come back in week to have another test. So the doctor told me to lie around, this week, and get all the sun I can. I figured on just taking sun baths this week-end.”

“Hm,” said I.

“Well do you want me to be refused insurance?” demanded Vic sharply.

“I just said hm,” I protested.

“But I didn’t like the way you said it,” said Vic.

“I tell you what,” said Bumpy. “Vic and I could stand by and sort of oversee and direct.”

“Let’s leave the whole thing till the morning.” I suggested hastily. “We can think it over better then. I hate to see Jim stuck in for $50 if the gang of us could mend the job in two or three hours’ work. Light work. The rise of trout isn’t until late in the afternoon tomorrow anyway. We won’t gain any thing by rushing off early.”

“That’s what I say,” agreed Skipper. “Let’s take the week-end easy.”

By which time the eggs were plump and the bacon curly and the table set and we gathered around. Jim caught my eye several times during the festive hour, and his expression was melancholy.

After supper, the others washed the dishes and I went out to listen to the stars and the soft splash of the gentle wind on the lake, And then they started a poker game, which I do not play because it steals away so many minutes from the lovely night; and in good time we prepared for bed.

“I’ll get a handful of kindling for the fire in the morning,” announced Skipper going out.

In three minutes he was back, his handkerchief wrapped around his right hand, and an air of disgust.

“I’ve bashed my hand,” he muttered.

“Your fishing hand?” cried Jim solicitously. We examined it. It looked a little red and scraped, but not serious. I got out iodine and plastered it liberally and Skipper bade me get a bandage out of his kit and bind his hand up carefully.

“You can’t trust these injuries in the country,” said Skip. “Tetanus.”

And so to bed.

With the lark and the robins and small shrill redstarts and monotonous wrens, we woke and breakfasted, Skipper wearing his injured hand in his lapels, a la Napoleon, Bumpy complaining of a rather smothery feeling during the night and Vic confessing to a little migraine due, he feared, to some slight sinus trouble he had been reading about in a medical journal he had been reading about in a medical journal he had been reading while in the insurance company doctor’s waiting room.

After the breakfast dishes were done, there was a general unpacking of rods and fishing tackle on the sunny veranda, and Jim caught me inside the cottage to say: “I guess we’d better pass the wharf thing up.”

“Let’s make one try,” I said. “Let you and me go down with a great show of purpose, and if none of them take the hint, we’ll pass it up.”

So we rolled up our sleeves and burst on to the veranda very purposeful.

“Just settle yourselves for a while, boys,” I said heartily, “while Jim and I go down and see what can be done about the wharf.”

“Do you want me, in an advisory capacity?” asked Skipper, holding up his bandaged hand.

“No, no, Skipper,” we assured him kindly. It wasn’t advice the situation called for.

So Jim and I went down and looked at the relic of the wharf in the quiet morning water. There really wasn’t a great deal wrong with it, as a matter of fact.

“When you see it close,” I pointed out, “all it needs is a couple of logs spiked on to that crib, and refill it with stones.”

“These planks,” said Jim, “can be all relaid and spiked in an hour.”

“Let’s start with the logs for the crib,” I urged. “There’s two of them on the beach, spikes and all.”

So we carried one log, and as we came up the bank, we could see Vic reclining in the sun and Skipper and Bumpy with a deck of cards out, beginning a game.

“Pssst,” I said. halting. “Listen? Isn’t that a McGillivray’s Warbler?”

“A what?” said Jim.

“Listen,” I hissed, “that bird. That song, the clear, staccato notes…”

I laid the end of the log down and tip-toed into the grove east of the cottage, peering up into the trees to see this rare bird.

I was gone a little while, perhaps a little longer than that, because a bird lover loses all sense of time. It wasn’t a McGillivray’s Warbler, it was just a Myrtle, a very common warbler. But I heard the car horns calling and I returned out of the woods to find them all loaded and ready to go fishing; which we did, and had a grand day at Port Sydney. Skipper, even with his injured hand, casting best and catching 14 trout, including the biggest one, a pound and 10 ounces, and everybody very happy and completely exhausted after a long day floundering and stumbling and toiling in the icy wild waters of the Muskoka River.


Editor’s Note: This story appeared in Greg Clark & Jimmie Frise Outdoors (1979).

  1. $50 in 1939 would be $1,100 in 2026. ↩︎

Toronto Goes Down to the Sea

May 20, 1922

This illustration went with a short article on the different sailing vessels in Toronto.

Garden Days

May 17, 1919

Involved in Manoeuvres

“Pull out there,” he yelled. “Pull to the side. Quick!”

By Gregory Clark, Illustrated by James Frise, May 16, 1942.

“At this pace,” muttered Jimmie Frise, “we won’t get there in time for the service at the cemetery.”

“Even funerals,” I replied, “have to bow to the war restrictions on driving speed. I’m going 40.”

“You go 40,” retorted Jim, “whenever you happen to look at the speedometer and see you’re only going 30. You speed up to 40, then you slack back to 30.”

“Why didn’t we come in your car then?” I inquired sweetly,

“You’ve been hoarding your gasoline coupons,” replied Jimmie. “That’s why we came in your car.”

“Hoarding!” I protested. “Hoarding gasoline coupons? Well, if that isn’t the limit!”

“In another six weeks,” said Jimmie, “these April-June coupons won’t be any good. You’re going to have half your supply left over.”

“Unless I use them all up driving you to funerals in the country,” I informed him.

“Listen,” said Jim, “Sam was as good a friend of yours as he was of mine. It was your idea to come to this funeral.”

“What time is it now?” I inquired.

“One-twenty,” advised Jim. “The funeral is at three. And unless you hold her at 40 all the rest of the way we’re not even going to get there in time to drive out to the cemetery. Step on it.”

“Even if we do miss the service at the house,” I stated, “it isn’t to be seen at the service we’re going. We’re going out of respect to poor old Sam. We’re going to see his widow and the boys. What if we don’t appear at the service? It’s to extend the hand of sympathy to the widow and the children we’re going. Don’t get excited.”

“Look,” said Jimmie, pointing to the speedometer. “Thirty-three miles an hour!”

My car has a certain gait. All its bearings and bushings and gears and stuff have been run in, over the past seven years, at a certain rate. And they run smoothest at that rate. You don’t expect to run with a lawn mower and get a good job of grass cutting.

But there was little traffic on the mid-week highway, and after all Sam’s widow and the boys might expect to see Jimmie and me among the mourners. So I put my foot down and kept my eye on the speedometer and held at 40, which allowed Jimmie to relax and look out the window and comment from time to time on the pleasant farm scenes with which he was so familiar in his boyhood.

“Aha,” he said, for instance. “A Barnardo boy1 in that farm.”

“How can you tell?” I snorted.

On Manoeuvres

“Look at the woodpile,” replied Jimmie. “Whenever you see an extra long and beautifully stacked woodpile you can tell there is a Home boy on that farm.”

Sundry other such commentaries enlightened our journey until we were well beyond Sunderland and the charms of Mariposa township were beginning to unfold before us, with a good hour remaining in which to reach our destination in plenty of time.

“Whoa,” said Jimmie, sitting up, “what’s all this?”

From a gravel sideroad ahead of us poured a regular stream of dusty army trucks. Bouncing and bounding on the rough road, they careered out on to the highway ahead of us and sped away in the same direction we were going. A pair of military traffic police, in tin helmets and gas masks, with pistols on their waists, had blocked the highway this side of the crossing and were watching the truck convoy lumbering by. The trucks were all laden with troops, in battle order, some in steel helmets and gas respirators, dusty and sweaty, as if they had already been in battle.

As we slowed up, one of the military traffic police smiled and held up his hand to bar us.

“Is there a war on?” I hailed friendly.

“Manoeuvres,” called the traffic control. “Big sham battle going on between two brigades.”

Down the gravel road pounded the endless procession of lorries and armored cars, throwing great clouds of dust, lurching and flinging the troops about, and then speeding furiously away on the pavement. Now and then light cars with officers passed in the procession. And motorcycles by the score, many of them with sidecars, struggled along in the storm of dust and flying gravel with machine-gunners and occasionally officers sitting coughing in the little side buggies.

“Boy, they’re getting their fill of dust,” I submitted.

“This is real training,” stated Jimmie. “It is showing these lads just how hard it is to get to a certain place on time. And time is everything in battle.”

“Also in funerals,” I reminded him. “I wonder how long this convoy is?”

Still, out of the dust clouds to the north, the lorries piled down on us, wheeling past on to our highway.

Caught in the Middle

A car with officers came by, a red flag fastened to its windshield. The two traffic men leaped on their motorcycles and jumped into life and whirled away.

“This will be the end,” I said, as a few more lorries followed in a sort of tail-of-the-procession style. And as the last of them wobbled on to the pavement we fell in behind it and got going.

“These convoys don’t go at any speed,” advised Jimmie. “We’ll be lucky to do 30 from here on.”

But it was only 22 miles an hour that we made for the first two miles and then we ran into a snag. The convoy ahead grew slower and slower. Peering ahead, we could see another vast dust cloud. We hoped this indicated the convoy was leaving the highway again. But as we drew near, we saw that it was another convoy, gathering from another sideroad and waiting for ours to pass.

As we neared the crossroads, our convoy speeded up. We could see groups of soldiers waving the convoy past, and on a little hillock by the crossing a group of officers, including red-tabbed generals. The lorry ahead of us was now travelling 35 and we hugged close to its tail.

“Hey,” came wild shouts as we shot past the crossing. “Get out of that! Hey, hoy, stop, get off there!”

But as we went by the first of the new convoy, waiting at the crossing, had leaped forward, and all in a great roar and bellow of engines and clouds of dust the commands were lost.

“Step on it,” yelled back the cheery young soldiers in the back of the lorry ahead of us. And behind us loomed up the leader of the new lot of lorries, goggled faces peering at us from the cab, helmeted heads wobbling above its roof.

“Some battle,” said Jim, excitedly.

“I don’t like being in this little car sandwiched in like this,” I informed him, gripping the steering. We were now pounding along, in a vast din, at nearly 35.

“I thought these army lorries weren’t allowed to travel this fast,” I complained.

Along the fields, we began to see troops in little knots. Some were hiding under the dusty bushes. Others were grouped around Bren guns mounted on fence posts or concealed

in the grass. Then we saw a field-gun manhandled into position by a squad of dusty, sweaty artillerymen.

“Boy, this looks like the real thing.” cried Jim.

“If it were the real thing,” I informed him, to remind him I happened to have been in the retreat from Dunkirk, there would be Stukas diving at us. You’d never see a convoy like this rushing along highways in close formation.”

Thicker and thicker grew the population, of soldiers along the roadsides and fields. And slower and slower grew the speed of the convoy. Then we saw them turning off, ahead of us, into another sideread.

“Hurray,” I cried.

But when we reached the turn, there was a regular swarm of military traffic police, officers, generals.

I tried to keep straight on, on the pavement.

“Hey!” roared the traffic control, waving us furiously to turn and follow the convoy, now lurching and bouncing on the gravel once more.

“We’re going to a funeral,” I bellowed at the traffic control.

“Your funeral,” yelled back the helmeted corporal, imperiously waving me to follow off the pavement.

Enemy Spies

Which I did. And after the first 100 yards, the dust clouds grew less and the convoy settled down to a steady pace.

And up from the rear came a motorcycle with sidecar containing a very irate general. “Pull out of there,” he yelled purply. “Pull to the side. Quick!”

I steered for the grassy side of the road.

“What are you trying to do?” demanded the general angrily.

“Sir,” I said, “since when has martial law been imposed on Canada? Is this a public highway or is it a private military road? Is there any law forbidding me to use any highway I please…”

“Ha,” said the general very gingery. “I see through you, sir! You’re an enemy agent.”

“I’ll have your wig for that, my pretty soldier,” I shouted, using that chesty voice you learn in the army and can dig up on a moment’s notice. “I am on my way to a funeral. And because I get tangled up on one of your sham battles and can’t get out of it, you have the infernal impudence…”

“Ha, ha,” interrupted the general, laughing sarcastically, “you can’t fool me, my boy. I’ll have you shot for a spy. I know you. I’ve seen you before some place. The minute you drove past that last corner I knew what was up.”

“And what is up?” I inquired hotly.

“You’re enemy agents, sir,” said the general. “I place you under arrest. You are in civilian garb. That entitles you to be shot as spies. Ha, ha, ha! Come, my boy, I’ll get in your car with you. It is more comfortable than the sidecar. And tonight, after the battle is over, I’ll have you to dinner at my mess and then I’ll find out who you are.”

He waved his motorcycle driver to return the other way.

“I’ll tell you who I am,” I informed him, swelling up. “I am a plain citizen trying to get to the funeral of a friend. And back near Sunderland I got…”

“Tut; tut, tut,” said the general, easing back comfortably in the back seat. “Drive me around the concession and let’s get back to the crossroads. I’ll have the pleasure of demonstrating to my staff that the old man still has his wits about him.”

“You mean,” said Jimmie, speaking up for the first time, “that we are enemy agents of the other brigade that you are fighting this sham battle? Not German agents?”

“German be damned,” said the general. “I mean you are a couple of spies from the other brigade I am fighting right now. And you were making a lovely survey of my troop dispositions. And if I hadn’t caught you, you would probably by now be at your own headquarters giving me the laugh.”

“General, believe me,” said Jimmie, pulling out his ration book, identification card, driver’s permit, and so forth, “we’re civilians. Plain civilians. If you don’t want to have the laugh on you, you’d better let us go.”

The old boy thumbed through Jimmie’s credentials and then I stopped the car on the first sideroad that let us out of the convoy and showed him all my papers and stuff.

“Take me back to my corner, will you?” said the general grimly. “You had no business being in that convoy.”

A Friendly Bog

“We’ll be glad to,” I assured him, because he was very crestfallen.

At the top of a hill, the general called out to me to stop the car for a minute. He stood up and gazed across the landscape.” If you watched intently, you could see that the landscape was filled with furtive figures of troops, lorries, motorcycles, all creeping forward.

“See,” said the old boy excitedly. The enemy is concentrating at those two backroad corners there. See the dust? He is going to attack through this wood. Why – he’ll outflank us! He’ll capture my headquarters! He’ll come right through to the south here…”

“Oh, no, he won’t,” said Jimmie, suddenly. “Nobody can get across that valley between the near end of this wood and that far hill with the red barn, there.”

“Why can’t they?” demanded the general.

“Because there is a bog in there,” said Jimmie. “There is a bog 100 yards wide and a mile long, with a stream running down through it. I’ve tried to fish it scores of times, and you can’t get within 50 yards of the crick.”

“Why, Jim,” I cried, “that’s Sam’s stream. Sam,” I explained to the general, “the man whose funeral we were going to, used to lease all this valley for the trout stream. We’ve fished all through…”

“Quick!” hissed the general. “I see it! Get me back to my crossroads. Why didn’t my intelligence staff find out about that bog?”

“Because they’re all probably stuck in it,” said Jim.

“Let’s hope the enemy don’t find out about it until it is too late,” I submitted.

So I went 40 over the sideroad and down the highway to where the general’s staff had the road barricaded and guarded by control troops. And we leaped out and followed him to where he had maps set up on temporary tables under some trees, with the staff gathered around.

And Jimmie showed the general on the map just where the bad bog began and where it ended. And by dispatch rider and signal men with flags and the one field telephone he had, the old boy sent orders to redispose his troops for two flank attacks around the ends of the bog while the enemy attacked through the centre of the big woods fair into the middle of the bog.

And poor old Sam was long buried and the guests all departed before we got away from the general’s table at the crossroads.

For the enemy did just what the general suspected they would do: attacked through the woods and came to disaster in the bog; while his three regiments made two savage attacks around the ends of the bog at the same time, capturing the enemy’s headquarters and annihilating the enemy as they struggled in the bog or tried to come around its ends.

And we stayed on for the supper they had out of big baskets taken from lorries, and the general introduced us to friend and enemy alike, around the camp fires in the evening.

And rather than get mixed up in any more convoys, as they trundled home to camp on all the highways for miles, Jimmie and I went the 10 miles farther on to Sam’s where we explained our absence to Mrs. Sam and the boys and kept their minds off their grief until bedtime by telling them all the kindly recollections we had of Sam and his happy life and the days we had spent with him fishing in the valley.


Editor’s Note:

  1. A Barnardo boy refers to impoverished or orphaned British children placed in homes founded by Dr. Thomas Barnardo and, from the 1880s to the 1930s, sent to Canada and other colonies as part of the “Home Children” immigration scheme. An estimated two-thirds of the children faced some sort of mistreatment during their placement. ↩︎

Iron Ore to Finished Car

May 15, 1926

This propaganda piece from the Ford Motor Company was illustrated by Jim.

O Momma!

May 11, 1935

Tempting the Unknown

“I’ve talked to Scotchmen,” assured Jim, “who have often done it back home.”

By Gregory Clark, Illustrated by Jim Frise, May 8, 1948.

Jim and Greg learn that guddling is not so much a sport as it is a hazard

“Let’s guddle them!” suggested Jimmie Frise suddenly.

“Guddle?” I questioned.

“Tickle,” explained Jimmie. “It’s the Scotch word for tickling trout. Did you never hear of tickling trout?”

“I’ve heard of it,” I admitted. “But I don’t believe everything I hear.”

We were standing on a wooden bridge, having met after a fruitless morning. We had been up at dawn, and had fished nearly a mile of a very beautiful trout stream without having connected with a single keepable fish. Being strictly fly fishermen, we had started together, wading the stream side by side. But after an hour had passed without any luck, we had separated; Jimmie turning downstream until he was out of sight. Whereupon, he rolled over a log on the river bank and got himself a good big fishworm. And I, being sure he was unable to see me, managed to catch a very small chub, which I sliced up with my knife, using its tail as bait. By such niceties – I mean, the care we take not to see each other or to be seen – are the fine old traditions of fly fishing maintained.

Jim drifted his gob of worm down under all the logs and into all the quiet pools. I dribbled my chub tail through all the riffles and rapids, and let it dangle far into the eddies and backwaters at the foot. But something was wrong. The trout were not in the mood. Nary a fish did we get.

“Guddling trout,” declared Jimmie, “is said to be no end of fun. And you get the biggest ones that way.”

I shifted my fly rod from one hand to the other, holding it so Jim could see it. Of course, all traces of chub tail had been removed. A march Brown decorated the end of my leader.

“Guddling,” I said, with dignity, “is hardly a thing that fly fishermen could stoop to.”

“Aw, you misunderstand me,” said Jim, easily. “Here we are, with nothing to do. The trout aren’t rising to the fly. Now, what would ordinary trout fishermen do in this case? Why, they would start bait fishing. They’d go and roll over a log and find a worm. Or they’d catch a chub and slice it up for bait.”

“But not us,” I stated firmly.

“I wasn’t suggesting that we guddle trout,” pursued Jim, “merely to capture some trout. I thought we could try out something we’ve often read about in the old fishing books.”

“Izaak Walton mentions it,” I admitted, “in ‘The Compleat Angler1.”‘

“Yes, and I’ve talked to Scotchmen,” assured Jim, “who have often done it back home in Scotland.”

“I doubt if you could do it here in Canada.” I suggested. “Conditions are different.”

“Not in the least,” cried Jim. “All you have to do, according to what I’ve heard, is find a place in the stream with a low bank where the water has cut under the bank, making a hole. That’s where the trout hide. That’s where the big ones go when they aren’t out feeding in the fast water. A trout has to have some repose. You don’t suppose a trout is going to spend 24 hours a day fighting the current out there in the fast water…”

“Then what do you do?” I asked.

“It’s really a poacher’s trick,” confessed Jim. “You have to be a poacher at heart to be a successful guddler.”

“If we got any,” I submitted, “we could throw them back. We’re not poachers. It would be just for the experience we’d do it. If we happened to get a big trout, even a two-pounder, we’d throw it back.”

“Certainly,” agreed Jim. “Well, as I was saying, you have to be as skilful as a poacher. You have to approach the low bank very quietly and cautiously, so as not to shake the bank with your footfall. Then you lie down on the bank, with your arm bared to the shoulder. You cautiously slide your hand down into the water, and in under the bank. If there is a hole, you explore it, barely moving your hand, as you feel for the smooth, cold sides of a trout.”

“At the sight of your hand,” I scoffed. “a trout would be a mile away.”

“No, it’s dark in those holes under the bank,” declared Jim. “According to what I’ve heard and read about guddling, the trout might move away from your hand, when it feels you touch it. In fact, that’s how you know a trout is in there, but THAT is where the guddling or tickling process begins. The minute you touch something that moves, you start your fingers moving delicately, as you grope around. And when you touch the trout, you start gently and delicately tickling its stomach. It stays perfectly still! It LIKES it! You continue tickling slowly along until your hand reaches its neck. Then you GRAB!”

Jimmie was demonstrating the system as he spoke, delicately waving his fingers in the air.

“Ugh!” I shuddered. “Suppose you guddled an eel! Suppose it was a mudcat you grabbed by the neck?”

“In a trout stream, like this,” said Jim glancing affectionately about at the rippling water, “it wouldn’t be eels or mudcats. It would be a trout. There’s nothing but trout in such beautiful water as this, except a few little chub.”

“Jim,” I said, “I’d be willing to watch you guddle. But I don’t quite see myself sticking my bare arm into the ice cold water up to the shoulder and risking my hand down in any dark unseen hole under the bank.”

“Did you see any trout this morning?” asked Jim, leaning his fly rod against the bridge railing.

“Oh, there’s plenty of trout here,” I assured him. “I saw schools of them darting madly up and down stream, as I waded. Some of them were beauties. But they wouldn’t touch a thing I offered them. Flies, that is.”

“In a trout stream, like this.” said Jim glancing affectionately about at the rippling water, “it wouldn’t be eels or mudcats. It would be a trout. There’s nothing but trout in such beautiful water as this, except a few little chub.”

“Jim,” I said, “I’d be willing to watch you guddle. But I don’t quite see myself sticking my bare arm into the lee cold water up to the shoulder and risking my hand down in any dark unseen hole under the bank.”

“Did you see any trout this morning?” asked Jim, leaning his fly rod against the bridge railing.

“Oh, there’s plenty of trout here.” I assured him. “I saw schools of them darting madly up and down stream, as I waded. Some of them were beauties. But they wouldn’t touch a thing I offered-them. Flies, that is.”

“Did you spot any really good big ones?” pressed Jim.

“I saw a real dandy, maybe a 15-incher,” I admitted grudgingly. “It was up at that pool where the wire fence crosses the stream.”

“Aha!” cried Jim. “The very place! I didn’t see any big ones this morning. I saw plenty of nice ones. But no lunkers. What do you say we go up to that fence pool?”

So we picked up our rods and went out to the pasture fields to save time. Rather than wade up, or push our way through the cedars and alders that border the stream, we went over the fields about one-third of a mile until we came to the wire fence which leads down though the woods and crosses the brook to keep the cattle from straying.

We parked our rods in the cedars and proceeded, very cautiously, through the thick underbrush, until we came to the pool. Up stream from the fence, the little river roared and rattled over a rapids created by boulders and gravel and old logs and roots that has accumulated over the years. Just before the fence crossed, the rapids gushed out into a long eddy. And this side of the fence, the eddy slowed into a beautiful narrow pool, three or four feet deep, and quiet and shadowy: a paradise for resting trout.

“Move like a cat!” whispered Jim, as we crouched in the brushwood.

I nodded. There is something that brings a lump into the throat of a fly fisherman in the sight of such a pool that lay before us. Though there were no leaves yet on the trees, there were enough cedars and a pine or two to shade the pool at all times of the day. The water, smooth and sparkling from its passage over the rapids up above, coiled crystal clear through the sombre pool.

It was secret, mysterious, curiously wild.

“Where did you see the big fellow?” murmured Jim.

“It came from downstream, there,” I pointed, “and he was poised in the middle of the pool. When he saw me, he darted upstream a little way and then turned in toward the bank.”

“Which bank?” hissed Jim.

“This one,” I whispered. “That’s the last I saw of him.”

“Easy now,” warned Jim. “We’ll stand up slowly, and take a look. If he’s visible…”

From our crouched position in the brush, we cautiously seated ourselves. Jim suddenly squatted, dragging me down with him.

“He’s there!” quivered Jim. “He’s two pounds, if he’s an ounce! My gosh! And he saw me…!”

“Aw!” I consoled.

“But he darted this way!” gloated Jim low, starting to remove his windbreaker. “Easy!”

He rolled up his shirt sleeve, right arm.

“Jim,” I warned, “do be careful, fumbling around…”

“Tempting the unknown!” whispered Jim. “The famous Henry Van Dyke2, remember what he said? ‘Nothing so attracts human nature as tempting the Unknown with a fishing line!'”

“Yeah, with a fishing line,” I muttered. But not your HAND!”

Jim had got his sleeve rolled as high on his biceps as it would go.

“Now!” he whuffed.

Crouching low, he began crawling on hands and knees toward the boggy bank. Six feet from its edge, he lay flat on his stomach and began inching himself forward like a commando fighter, barely moving. Three feet from the edge, he lowered his head until he was flattened completely. His right arm began to extend. His hand reached the grassy margin and disappeared into it. Slowly, he wormed forward and I saw his arm start to vanish over and down.

I could see he was now so completely advanced to the edge that his shoulder was over the bend and his whole arm must be immersed.

Suddenly, he turned his face toward me and it was lighted with an unholy glee. His mouth was open and his eyes were starting from their sockets.

“Easy!” I warned.

Jim’s eyes rolled as he felt cautiously at something unseen, deep in that shadowy depth. His body tensed.

I saw him suddenly convulse as he made a vicious grab.

“Watch out!” he yelled, heaving.

Then he really DID yell.

His arm was gripped and held. I rushed forward, seizing an old dead stick.

For, instead of pitching a two pound trout out onto the bank, he was grabbed and held by some implacable and unseen force. He struggled furiously, he writhed and whipped around on the bank, digging his knees in, yelling and thrashing.

His arm, well over the elbow in the water, was gripped and held. I rushed forward, seizing an old dead stick. But in his struggles, Jim had muddied the water of the pool, and the current was spreading the silt in clouds. I could see nothing but Jim’s white arm disappearing in the clouds.

“Jim! Jim!” I yelled. “What is it?”

“I don’t know!” gasped Jim, holding his arm still, while perspiration burst in beads on his face.

“Does it hurt?” I begged.

“Like fury,” choked Jim, biting his lip.

“Maybe a snapping turtle?” I cried, poising my stick. “Maybe a giant snapping turtle? Is it chewing?”

“No, it’s just got me…” collapsed Jim.

“Let the mud settle,” I gritted. “Keep still. I’ll get you out of this.”

I crouched on the bank, watching over the side, my club at the ready.

The mud and silt, wafted by the current, thinned, cleared. I had a swift vision of Jim’s hand. Something dark and terrible had hold of it, straight across.

The silt wafted thinner. I caught sight of what seemed be old rusty chain. It cleared more. Like glimpsing the moon through flying clouds, I saw Jim’s hand gripped by a dirty old muskrat trap.

“Look!” I commanded, heavily.

Jim looked. We reached down and pried the trap loose. His hand was red, but not skinned.

“Some poacher,” I snarled indignantly, “abandoned that old trap there…!”

Jim was nursing and rubbing his hand.

“Fly fishermen,” he growled, “have no business…”

“Guddling,” I concluded.


Editor’s Notes:

  1. The Compleat Angler is a book by Izaak Walton, first published in 1653. It is a celebration, in prose and verse, of the art and spirit of fishing. ↩︎
  2. Henry van Dyke was a professor of English literature at Princeton between 1899 and 1923. ↩︎

The Wreck of the Titan

May 4, 1912

After the sinking of the Titanic, some people noticed the similarity to the book The Wreck of the Titan: Or, Futility, written in 1898. There was demand for a reprinting in 1912, and the Toronto Star published some of it, which Jimmie illustrated.

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