By Gregory Clark, Illustrated by James Frise, October 2, 1937.
“At last, cried Jimmie Frise, “I have everything set to take you duck hunting.”
“Not me,” I assured him.
“Listen,” said Jim earnestly, “I’ve built the swellest duck blind you ever saw. I spent the whole week-end building it. It’s on the one point in the whole, bog where, you might say, every duck from Hudson Bay has to pass on its way south.”
“Count me out,” I said.
“Now listen,” said Jim, “it’s the swellest blind I ever saw. It’s built with poles, overlaid with cedar all woven together and cat-tails entirely covering it. It’s so clever a blind even an old grandma duck that has been up and down America eight or ten times wouldn’t suspect it.”
“I’m booked up,” I said, “every week-end from now to Christmas.”
“Aw,” said Jim, “don’t be so pig-headed. You don’t know what you are missing. You call yourself a sportsman? Duck shooting is the basic sport. Until you have shot ducks you’re nobody in the world of outdoor sport.”
“Give me,” I stated, “deer, moose, bear, pheasants, partridge or porcupines. Anything dry. But deliver me from all dampness, chill, sleet, mud and east winds.”
“This duck blind,” stated Jim, “is practically weather proof. I built a regular little bench in it for us to sit on. I built a kind of a shelter underneath so that if we do get cold we can snuggle down under and get warm. It is made of thick cedar boughs woven in around a framework of poles, the whole overlaid with cat-tails. It is without doubt the best duck blind I ever saw anywhere, and I built it to introduce you, at last, to the sport of duck shooting.”
“Some other time,” I concluded.
“I’m afraid,” said Jim, “you are a fair-weather sport. You miss the true essence and spirit of sport. Sport involves all the manlier human attributes, such as taking risks and overcoming danger. The true sportsman fares forth in the face of the elements and by his own devices outwits the elements. That is why duck shooting is the premier sport of all. It calls upon a sportsman’s resources to keep dry and warm. You can’t hunt ducks on a fine warm day. You’ve got to be in the blinds before dawn, and the worse the weather the better will the ducks fly.”
“It sounds as horrible as ever,” I informed him.
“To me,” cried Jim, “it’s the greatest thrill in the world. We get up at 4 a.m. It is still pitch dark and the wind is sighing over the farmhouse. We dress by lamp-light, gradually coming back to consciousness. Minute by minute, our sense of appreciation of life seems to grow sharper. We put on our heavy clothes, our canvas coats and our wind and rainproof covers.”
“I love bed,” I gloated. “Deep, tumbly bed.”
Those Rushing Targets
“We go out into the air.” went on Jim, “and it is dark and strange and tingling and sharp. The blood leaps. Stars shine coldly. We have our guns across our bent arms, and what a queer lovely feeling that is. Our pockets bulge with boxes of shells.”
“I’m still in bed,” I said. “Yah, I stretch my legs down under the quilts.”
“We walk down across the dark fields,” said Jim, “to where the punt is tied on the edge of the bog, and there it is, looming, with its pile of decoys all ready in the middle. Silently, our heavy boots crunching in the frosty rim of the water’s edge, we get in and push off. We pole and paddle amidst pale ghostly aisles of bog, listening every now and then to the sleepy quack of ducks or to the faint whistle of wings of ducks already stirring. We hurry. We reach the point of bog, putting into the dark, windy water, where we quickly toss out our decoys, draw the punt deep into the rushes to hide it, and fumble our way into the waiting blind.”
“I fumble the quilts up higher about my head,” I put in.
“We unload our pockets,” continued Jim. “We lay the shell boxes handy, emptying a few into our pockets, and load our guns. We button up our collars and pull our caps low. We are ready.”
“And I,” I said, “mutter drowsily in my sleep. Something about the chief end of man.1“
“All about us,” sang Jimmie, “something seems stirring. There is a faint paleness. The wind freshens. Afar off we hear the muffled thud, thud of a gun. Something unseen whistles and fades overhead, a flight of ducks. Dimly the outlines of bog and shoreline begin to be visible, and we sit, crouching, gun at the ready, peering into the air. It is the dawn. It is like a symphony. It is a great, primeval thing, in vast simple tones of gray and of darkness, of sound and silence, of stirring and of motionlessness. We can now see, like little bobbing phantoms, our decoys on the water fifteen yards ahead of us. A mile to our left there is a sudden blaze of guns, two, three guns, blasting in quick succession. We tense. We crouch and take a fresh grip of our guns.”
“Go on,” I said.
“There we crouch,” said Jimmie. “And then faintly, faintly to our ears comes hissing, indescribable sound, increasing like the rush of arrows through the air. Through the peep-holes we have left in the cat-tails of our blind we suddenly see, like shadows, far beyond our decoys, a close packed flock of ducks curving through the air. They have seen our decoys. They lift and turn. Our pulses are beating like hammers. Our breath nearly stops. With a rush of sound they come, like arrows slackening in their flight, straight into our decoys. Ten feet above the decoys they bend their wings to brake their speed, and in a kind of innocent jumble prepare to drop down among the wooden deceivers.”
“Go on,” I said.
“We rise,” said Jim. “All in one smooth motion, we rise to our feet and aim our guns. Bang, bang, bang, we pick our birds and drop them. The others, suddenly towering, try to make off, with loud quacks of fright. We swing and follow with our gun barrels, in that eerie light, the flashes showing us we aimed too far ahead or not enough, and a couple more of those rushing targets fall to the water.”
“How many did we get?” I asked.
“Six,” said Jim. “Three each.”
“Oh, boy,” I said, because a roast wild duck, served with wild rice, creamed celery and apple sauce, is just about as nice a thing as ever a man got out of bed for.
“We hurriedly push the punt out of the rushes,” said Jim, “and pick up our kill. Then we hide the punt as quickly again and crouch down in the blind.”
So that was how I was betrayed by Jimmie into going duck shooting. To my outfit for normal sport I added canvas coats and hip rubber boots, which are good for nothing but washing a car. Firemen wear them, but firemen don’t have to walk in them. They ride.
We arrived at the farmhouse about 9 p.m., but the good woman insisted on feeding us, and there was potted meat and pies made out of greenings, so it was eleven o’clock before we finally got into the spare bed, which was hard and cold. And I don’t believe I got my eyes really shut before I found Jim with the lamp lit shaking me roughly and telling me to get up.
It was not only dark and cold, but a wind that I identified as an east wind was sighing and moaning around the side of the farmhouse. Canvas was never intended to be worn. It is for tents and horse covers. We pulled on our clammy underwear and our canvas and our high rubber boots. We gathered up guns and shell boxes with clumsy hands. I ached all over for sleep. That bed fairly held out its arms to me. But shivering and hoarsely whispering, we stood forth and Jim blew out the lamp.
“Rain,” I said, as we opened the door and stepped out.
“A swell morning,” said Jim with hoarse enthusiasm. “A perfect morning. And not a smell of rain.”
“East wind,” I shuddered, “always brings rain. Just a minute.”
I had seen an umbrella hanging on a nail the night before. I slipped back in and fumbled for it. I took it down and rolled it, with my gun, in the rubber sheet I was taking along to sit on in the blind.
Down the yard and out across the pasture we walked, in the complete darkness, no stars glittering however coldly, and heavy clods sticking up to further impede the loose and hollowly clumping rubber boots. We found the punt, and as Jim had foretold there loomed the pile of decoys in the middle of it.
I clamped down in the bow while Jim, with a long oar, poled and paddled us across the windy little bays of the bog. It took us fifteen minutes to get out to the point where Jimmie had made his blind the week before. As we neared it a voice, muffled and low in the dark, called out:
“Hey, on your way. This is occupied.”
Jim stopped poling and let the punt drift nearer.
“Beat it,” came the voice. “Make it snappy.”
“Look here,” said Jim, “I built this blind.”
“Go on,” said the voice – it sounded like a large, rough sort of person, “beat it. We build our blind on this point every year.”
“You’re in my blind,” stated Jim sharply.
“So what?” said the voice, and faintly I could now make out two massive figures looming head and shoulders out of what seemed a mass of wet and cold swamp.
With an angry shove, Jim pushed away and started paddling past. I could see decoys on the dark water.
“The dirty crooks,” said Jim bitterly.
“Let’s go back,” I said, “the farmhouse.”
“There’s lots more good spots,” said Jim. “In fact, one of the best spots of all is only a quarter mile out here.”
I slunk down lower. The east wind was rising. There was a horrible ghastly paleness seeming to grow all about. Jim paddled furiously with the oar, standing up, and the wet little punt wobbled and teetered across the leaden water, the small busy waves making a most unpleasant sound along the sides.
“Take it easy, Jim.” I suggested.
We drew on towards a point of bog jutting out darkly. As we approached a sharp whistle rang across the murk.
“Hey,” a voice called. “Full up here.”
Jim swung the punt and headed furiously in a new direction. It was paling. Far off, I heard a faint double thud of a gun being fired. Jim made the punt wobble dangerously as he drove the oar into the water.
“If we dumped here–” I began.
But Jim just made an extra wild wobble that cut me short. We hove off another point of bog. A dog barked at us. A voice called angrily words that we could not hear.
From the point where Jim had built his blind came the sharp bang of two pump-guns firing furiously.
“It’s begun,” said Jim, swinging the punt out and resting his oar.
Every Man To His Taste
And it had begun. The paleness had increased until now, dimly, we could see the shoreline. The wind had freshened. On the edge of our limit of vision we saw a flock of ducks, flying low and fast, streak along, and a moment later a fusillade of shots broke from another point. Far off and near at hand, the firing swelled.
“We’ll just push in here anywhere,” said Jim excitedly.
He headed for the cat-tail bog and, on nearing it, commanded me sharply to set out the decoys while he held the punt steady. The decoys were cold and icy. They each had a string with a lead weight for an anchor. The strings were tangled and I had to double down and peer and jerk and untangles I laid them in the water and got my hands numb with the cold trying to make them ride right side up. There were twenty of them.
We got them set out somehow and Jim, feeling with his oar, found a soft spot in the bog where he shoved the punt in amidst the tall rushes. I having to get half out of the punt to help shove with my foot. It was cold and terribly wet and smelled of swamp.
We got set. We managed to turn the punt sideways to allow both of us a shot if any ducks did come in to our decoys.
But no duck did come. We sat there, listening to the far-off cannonade and the sudden fury of the guns nearby. Far off, as the day dawned, we beheld harried flights of ducks crossing ever farther out and ever higher.
It became broad gray daylight, the east wind was now a mild gale and there came the first sprinkle of small, drifting rain.
“Well,” I inquired bitterly, “now what do we do?”
The firing had died down. Desultory shots sounded on the wind in the rushes.
“I guess we can go back now,” said Jim dully.
So while Jim held the punt steady in the lashing wind, I picked the decoys up.
“Wind the strings around each one,” said Jim, “so they won’t get all tangled.”
The water was icy. It ran down my wrists. My hands were no longer gifted with any feeling. They were red and raw looking.
As we started to push away from the bog to cross the homeward bay the rain began to thicken. I reached down and unwrapped the umbrella from the rubber sheet. I shook it out and sprung it open.
“What on earth have you got there?” demanded Jimmie, as if he couldn’t see.
“It’s an umbrella,” I explained. “A device invented some hundreds of years ago by the Chinese to add to the comfort of human kind.”
I heard a whisking sound.
“Hye!” roared Jim, and the punt gave a sickening wobble.
A big fat mallard had jumped from the bog behind us and nearly collided with my umbrella.
“We couldn’t have got off a shot in time anyway,” I stated.
“I guess,” said Jim thinly. “I guess it’s best not to try to interest people in duck shooting. Either you’ve got it in you or you haven’t got it in you. You’re born to shoot ducks, I guess.”
“Every man to his taste,” I agreed.
So I kept the umbrella up all the way across to the farm and all the way up to the house, where we had a great breakfast of eggs, ham, apple sauce, potted meat, apple pie made of greenings, thick toast made over a wood fire and boiled tea.
Editor’s Note: This story was repeated on October 7, 1944 as “Just a ‘Blind’ Date”.
- The Westminster Shorter Catechism is a catechism written in 1646 and 1647 by the Westminster Assembly, a synod of English and Scottish theologians and laymen intended to bring the Church of England into greater conformity with the Church of Scotland. The catechism is composed of 107 questions and answers. The most famous of the questions is the first:
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. ↩︎